48 | Jovan Sage | Death as Ally: Uncertainty, Fear, and the Tender Art of Surrender
“When I think about death and dying, and how I want to die, it actually brings me closer to how I want to live.”
Here is an audio version.
A video version can be found below.
Jovan invites us into a radical reimagining of death—not as something to resist, but as an ally to walk with. Grounded in the four foundations of her deathwork—death as teacher, letting go as art, uncertainty as the deepest lesson, and the calling as guide—she shares how these principles shape both her practice as a death midwife and her way of life.
Drawing from her experience as a queer youth organizer and in her work with breath and relational practices, Jovan weaves stories of community care, grief, and intimacy. She speaks to how queerness has radicalized her relationship with death and life, how uncertainty invites us to anchor in what matters most, and how tending to fear with tenderness can open us to deeper love.
At its core, this is a conversation about becoming more death-literate, about remembering that grief and love are kin, and about living in a way that prepares us to die with integrity, connection, and grace.
We continue the conversation by asking Jovan about ancestral healing and land practices, which you can find here.
Find Thematic Show Notes Below
Connect with Jovan:
Website
Instagram
Connect with WHR:
WHR Instagram
Coyotei Counsel Instagram
Hearthwoven Substack
Tei’s Instagram
Email - whr.link@gmail.com
Thematic Show Notes
The Four Foundations of Deathwork:
Death as teacher, letting go as art, uncertainty as the greatest lesson, and the calling as the guide
How these principles shape Jovan’s orientation to life and death
What it means to slow down and listen to death’s teachings
Queerness, Community, and Death Literacy:
Growing up queer and organizing in community as an early form of death midwifery
How queerness radicalizes the relationship to death and letting go
“When I think about death and dying and how I want to die, it actually brings me closer to how I want to live.”
Breath, Tantra, and Relating to Fear:
Teachings from tantra on breath, anger, fear, and intimacy
How tending to our relationships in life prepares us for death
Fear as a teacher: “What is your fear calling you towards?”
Tending to fear like a beloved rather than resisting it
Living with Uncertainty:
“Uncertainty is the only constant.”
Lessons Jovan has received from surrendering to uncertainty
Holding values and responsibilities as anchors amidst the unknown
Grief and love as kin who move together
Answering the Call of Deathwork:
The invitation for those who feel drawn to this work but hesitate to begin
Practices of remembrance and slowing down
The sacred responsibility of speaking openly with loved ones about how we want to die
Deathwork as an act of communal care and radical hope